13. Big decisions can wait

A survivor should avoid making hasty decisions about life changes (selling a home, changing jobs, making a major financial investment, etc.). It is better to put off these important moves until some time has gone by after the death. Also, deciding what to do with the belongings of the deceased is emotionally difficult and should be allowed its own time. Don’t do your friend a “favor” by boxing up all the loved ones possessions and taking them away so they won’t have to do it. They may need to go through them slowly, experiencing the memories and feelings and letting the reality of the situation sink in a little more as they reflect on each item.

Sometimes it is safest to simply box things up or put in storage until a later time when a less emotional decision can be made. (A young mother was almost destroyed when well meaning relatives removed everything - all the baby clothes, furniture, etc. and destroyed them when her four month old child died in hospital. She was left with nothing - not even a photograph.)